Okay, as promised here's a special Valentine's message for my special little sweetheart..

Roses are red,
Violets are blue.
I'm sick of someone,
Can you guess who?

That's right baby, you're dumped. You've got 48 hours to get your stuff out of my house, or I'll flog it to a guy I know down the market.

Oh, thanks for the card and the watch by the way. That must have set you back a bit.

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