Kite flying on this site is banned until further notice.
'Hello, I'm Andrew from Diaryland, and when I'm not nerding with the servers, I like nothing more than reading The Diary Of David Artois.
David and I may have had our differences in the past, but now we're the best of friends, and I've promised never to try and murder him again.
Let's face it folks, we've all done things in the past that we're not proud of, and that's why I'd like to take this opportunity to apologise to Miss Dorothy Frampton, Mrs Kate Moorfield and Mr Mike Jones, all of whom I have wronged in the past.
If you want me to return the undergarments I stole from your washing lines, then I will be pleased to do so. I also pledge never to stalk any of you again.
Thanks for listening, and remember, buy gold membership or I'll FUCKING KILL YOU!!'
Thanks for that Andrew. I think we can all learn a thing or two from that.