Love it or hate it, you can't deny that the World Cup is the biggest sporting event in the world.

Well, unless you're an American of course. Oh no, football isn't good enough for them is it? They have to be different don't they? They've got their own sporting events like the Superbowl and the World fucking Series.

Well I've got a message for you yanky poofs...

Let's kick things off with a review of the groups. And since I happen to be an England fan, let's start with Group F.

Group F

Argentina
England
Nigeria
Sweden

As you can see, it's quite a difficult group, which is why it's been dubbed 'The Group of Death'. Well, that and because all the teams were killed on the flight over to Japan. So, no point wasting our time with this group then.

Group C

Brazil
Scunthorpe United
Yoko Ono
A Rubber Chicken

In contrast, Brazil's group seems quite easy, although some pundits fancy Yoko Ono to go quite far. She could become the first Asian widow of John Lennon to win the World Cup. And let's not forget, the Rubber Chicken did upset Germany in a recent friendly..

Scunthorpe United are crap though. This group has been dubbed 'The Group of Giving Brazil an Easy Ride'.

Group X

God
Father Christmas
The Tooth Fairy
George W. Bush

And now we come to group X, or 'The Group of Fictitous Characters and George W. Bush'.

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