In the next few weeks, you'll be receiving the following booklet through the post:
In it, you'll find all the information you need regarding the new National Eccentricity Test. Shortly after receiving the booklet, you'll be summoned to the National Eccentricity Board. They will decide whether or not you are eccentric.
Eccentrics can play no part in the new Boring Britain. In line with government policy, Britain must be as dull and uninteresting a place as possible. A bit like Canada.
Expressing a thought or opinion that seems to differ from The Norm may result in you being classified ECCENTRIC!
Eccentrics cannot be tolerated in Boring Britain. They are the new communists.
If the eccentrics have their way, Britain will look like this:
The new Boring Britain, however, will look more like this:
If you are classified as an eccentric, you will be immediately deported to a more interesting country.